Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
