WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
