Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
