she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
