Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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