Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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