So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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