Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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