ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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