it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
