i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
