I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
