Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think my fart just growled at me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
