ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
