I cockslap morals
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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