we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
