It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize