guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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