I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
