There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
