Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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