I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
