I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
