did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
