Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
