nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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