i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
