oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize