It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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