Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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