whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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