Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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