goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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