Your tits are I can't wait for
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
