What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
