walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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