I must be too annoying 4 u.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
