New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
