found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Boobs are out for the taking
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
