I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize