"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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