In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize