there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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