Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently you make a good broom.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize