Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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