This girl is more easily done than said...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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