Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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