So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
should my penis look like a turkey
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
