hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
