yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
