Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
