i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
