So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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