I want to stick my p in your. b.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
