you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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