i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
