Yo dont text me then not text me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
