Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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