why didn't you poke me back
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
