living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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