I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
