I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
