I haven't been this sober since birth.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
