The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So much rum. So many feels.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
