She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
