Sry I called you an 8
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
