At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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