FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
