Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
