When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
