I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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