they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
