Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
